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A Microphone, Highly Caffeinated Drinks, and Roald Dahl

on October 9, 2013

These are the ingredients, when mixed together, make a great Wednesday night. The English Honors club, Sigma Tau Delta, hosts Open Mic nights at a local coffee house every other Wednesday evening. These Open Mic nights give students and members of the community the opportunity to share written works as well as their musical talents.

Because I have no musical talents whatsoever, I instead attempt to lighten everyone’s week with a bit of humor. At least that was my intention last Wednesday when I read the following poem by Roald Dahl. Let it just be known that if you have never read anything by Dahl, you need to stop reading this blog and go check him out immediately! His poems and stories are crazy and funny and an absolute delight.



“If you are old and have the shakes”

By Roald Dahl

If you are old and have the shakes,
If all your bones are full of aches,
If you can hardly walk at all,
If living drives you up the wall,
If you’re a grump and full of spite,
If you’re a human parasite,
Your eyes will shine, your hair will grow,
Your face and skin will start to glow,
Your rotten teeth will all drop out
And in their place new teeth will sprout.
Those rolls of fat around your hips
Will vanish, and your wrinkled lips
Will get so soft and rosy–pink
That all the boys will smile and wink
And whisper secretly that this
Is just the girl they want to kiss!
But wait! For that is not the most
Important thing of which to boast.
Good looks you’ll have, we’ve told you so,
But looks aren’t everything, you know.
Each pill, as well, to you will give
So come, old friends, and do what’s right!
Let’s make your lives as bright as bright!
Let’s take a dose of this delight!
This heavenly magic dynamite!
You can’t go wrong, you must go right!


smiley faces


Being a part of Open Mic nights is more than just a club member requirement. It is a chance for me to share some of my favorite works and authors with an audience. Plus, it is the perfect time for me to exercise my drama skills! Funny faces, goofy voices, and all … Let’s just say I get a little into it …

However, at the next Open Mic night I will boldly do what I have never done before … I will be sharing a piece of my own writing. Thanks to the wonderful and encouraging feedback from the stellar and oh so stylin’ ladies of English Methods, I will be unleashing “Trying to be Cool” to the world!!




2 responses to “A Microphone, Highly Caffeinated Drinks, and Roald Dahl

  1. Yay! I can’t wait to hear your read that piece again. Honestly, you are so fun to hear read! You’re like the equivalent of Dr. G reading Canterbury Tales or Dr. McEwen reading Shakespeare or Dr. E reading pictures books. Not kidding.

  2. lechatdu503 says:

    I love Roald Dahl! It was recently Roald Dahl day and, I’m sad to say, I didn’t read any of him that day. What’s your favorite Roald Dahl book?

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